


What Am I Supposed To Do Without You?

by Highlightlover4693



Category: Motorcycling RPF
Genre: Enemies to Friends, M/M, Rivalry, Sachsenring 2018, Talking, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-06-10 19:48:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15298752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlightlover4693/pseuds/Highlightlover4693
Summary: Dani's announcement of retirement shocks everyone in the paddock. But, for Jorge, it has become a personal issue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A light shot between these two, because this conversation NEEDED to take place.
> 
> Thanks so much in advance <3

**_Circuit of Sachsenring, Germany_ **

**_Friday, 13rd July, 2018_ **

 

The whole previous day feels as if his body had been ruled by some sort of autopilot. His limbs move on their own, as if the orders weren't coming directly from his brain. His eyes fixed on the ground as he answers as carefully as possible to the journalists questions.

But he feels weird. His mind is somewhere else.

There is a vague void on his stomach that he seems unable to get rid of. But, to be honest, he would be lying if he said he didn't know when it had appeared or where it had come from. 

He supposes that, as most people, he hadn't dared to believe it until it had come straight out of his mouth. He had been reluctant to even think about it during the whole week, desperately busying himself with senseless, ridiculously long sessions of gym and television, probably as a result of how much he didn't want it to be true. 

_Cause you can't go. Not like this._

The worst part, though; is that irremovable feeling of guilt, that floods his insides with uneasiness and haunts him relentlessly at night. Those incredibly, almost endlessly long nights he goes  through sprawled on his bed, where sleep seems nearly an unreachable goal. And the sensation doesn't leave, nesting at the back of his head. Because deep down he knows he has kind of triggered all this, one way or another.

And it's eating him alive. 

Maybe it is what has pushed him to this exact moment. To stand face to face to Dani's motorhome's door. He nervously glances at his wrist, his watch confirming the still fairly early hour. He knows Dani will leave later. Jorge almost smiles to himself. The Honda rider have never liked sleeping in the paddock. The quietness of hotel rooms have always been his preference if he had had the opportunity to choose. He had known him long enough to know that. It's simply so like him. So _Dani_.

The almost imperceptible breeze that blows it's a bit too cold. He snuggles further into his red, Ducati sweater, tugging at the end of his sleeves so it covers a bigger part of his trembling hands. He adjustes the collar to prevent the coldness from traveling down his spine, before filling his lungs with oxygen and letting it out to complete a deep breath. 

_Come on, you coward. It's just Dani._

He almost chuckles under his breath once again, cause despite the nearly ridiculous attempt to throw a bit of pressure out his head, he deeply knows those words are pretty useless. Cause it's not just Dani. It has never been. It isn't easy neither unimportant. It's precisely the big deal. 

It's Dani. 

Plucking up as much courage as he can, he finally manages to bring his hand to obey and knock, the blows his knuckles create against the metal sounding way louder and more annoying than he would have liked them to.

He sniffles slightly, trying as hard as he can to prevent himself from being over dramatic, trying to stop himself from counting the seconds until there is actual fidgeting at the other side of the door.

A thin line of warm light breaks the darkness as Dani's unmistakable brown eye peeks from the other side. It widens for a torturously long second, definitely surprised at Jorge's presence then and there. 

_That makes two of us._

"Jorge..." Dani barely lets out, the volume so low the Ducati rider wonders if he has imagined it for a second. 

He sways uncomfortably on the doorstep because fuck, he has rehearsed this, in his now pretty useless mind, a million times. Unfortunately, logic ideas seem to have fled from up there.

"Hey" Jorge, embarrassingly, finally manages to choke out as Dani widens the distance between the doorframe and the actual door, so he can properly look at him. 

"Hi" Dani accompanies the greeting with his trademark soft smile "What are you doing here?"

That. He had always admired that authentic, non feigned kindness the shorter Spaniard seemed to say everything with. It made speaking without making a fool of himself a bit easier, to be honest. Cause, as usual, he looked interested in whatever Jorge had to say. Not to mention that it comes to soften up a question he's not sure how to answer.

"I...I actually" _Spit it out, Lorenzo, damn it,_ he forces his own system to work again "Wanted to talk to you, cause...you know" 

_Cause you are retiring. God, you are really retiring._

He almost grimaces at the incoherence of his own words. _Great work, really. Outstanding._

But, as usual, Dani doesn't seem to need anything more, he gets the purpose of the majorcan's embarrasing visit inmediatly, showing off another one of those soft, incredibly shoothing smiles of his. 

"Of course" the short rider casts a brief glance to his left and mutters a few words over his shoulder to whoever is inside the vehicle, that from his position he doesn't catch.

Jorge looks down at his own sneakers, trying to offer privacy to a conversation that doesn't concern him, but barely registering any other source of movement or noise around him, either. Nonetheless, before he knows it, the door that had looked so intimidating minutes before is closing again and Dani is swiftly coming down the cold, silvery staircase, until he's in front of Jorge.

"Sorry, I would love to ask you in but my family is here and I thought it would be better to talk more privately" the Repsol rider almost lets out apologetically, when the truth is that the only reaction his words bring out of Jorge is utter relief. He would be lying if he told himself that he was ready to face Dani's parents or brother, given their always complex relationship and their current, complicated situation. Yeah, he can definitely use the fresh air now. 

"No problem" he mutters, willing his suddenly clumsy feet to follow Dani's footsteps to wherever the other Spaniard is guiding him to. 

After an extremely brief walk, they end up settling in between dark truck walls and stacks of tyres, whose location actually provides some sort of oddly comfortable privacy. 

Jorge only allows himself to stop when Dani comes to a halt, hands buried in the pockets of his worn out jeans, back against the surface, looking so casual that it indeed contributes to relax his agitated nerves. 

"So...what's up?" The Repsol rider initiates, his vivid dark eyes finding Jorge's gaze immediately, the eye contact not failing to make his guts twist again, but in a disturbingly different way. 

He wasn't lying yesterday, when some journalists asked him about it. He was as transparent and sincere as he always was. It has been ages since they have properly talked, cause it would have been too awkward, almost inappropriate. _Because I'm taking your seat, and you'll be gone, and somehow I feel like it's all my damn fault._

_"_ I saw your press conference" he feels the urge to hit his head against the wall, repeatedly and hard. Of course he had seen the press conference. It would be tough to find someone in the paddock who hadn't. Everyone eager to discover Dani's intentions since that short, worrying letter was released "God, I can't believe we have actually reached this moment"

He finally goes for it and voices one of his most sincere thoughts. Dani's presence on the grid as factual and inherent on his job, on Jorge's own life that it has proven to be incredibly hard to imagine it without him. He guesses he will have to get used to it. 

"Yeah, well...it hasn't been an easy decision to make. But it feels like the correct one, nonetheless" Jorge doesn't miss the verb used. _Feel_. Not seem neither look. _Feels like the correct one._ If the resolution has been so personal and heartfelt, he has nothing to object.

But it still hurts.

His head nods almost out of reflex, cause he, deep down, understands.

"It was really brave, to be honest" Yeah, it was. Not everyone would have declined a Yamaha, most people would have gone for it. Most people but Dani, who always seems to set himself away from the crowd and still get the affection from it. He's special like that. He has always been. Even when Jorge was too young and proud to admit it. 

"Thanks, Jorge" the whisper sounds so sincere, so true, that the Ducati rider is momentarily speechless.

Dani seems to be rummaging for something else to say and Jorge suddenly hates this awkwardness. Too many things have happened between them through these years for their communication to be this limited, like a gum that threatens to snap if stretched too far. 

"Actually, I'm the one who should be grateful, It's bee-" 

"Please, don't" Dani cuts him before he's able to spit out the speech he had been mentally preparing during the whole afternoon. He has even surprised himself thinking about it at free practice this morning. The usual emptiness his mind adopts whenever he's on top of the bike being replaced by constant memories. Yeah, that's being the most heartbreaking thing. Since Dani pronounced the words at that press conference the day before he has felt annoyingly nostalgic "Save it for Valencia, I refuse to create drama so soon. I'm sure there will be time for that, plus, there are still ten races left"

Jorge swallows thickly. He's right. Perhaps now it's not time for this. Maybe neither of them is ready for it yet.

"Oka-" 

"And please, also...drop that lost, guilty puppy face, Lorenzo. Believe it or not, none of this has been your fault. I could have actually continued with Honda, they offered me the possibility. _I_ decided against it" And like that, out of nowhere and apparently without pretending, Dani has lifted the agonizingly heavy weight he had been supporting for weeks off his shoulders. It still scares him sometimes, how well the older rider is able to read him. 

"Okay" nonetheless, he finally allows himself to relax, his shoulders to loose the tension and a sheepish smile to make its way up his face. And Dani actually returns it, his clever eyes acquiring a glimmer he doesn't know how to identify as, but that efficiently sends a shiver down his spine. 

"Who would have thought, uh?" Dani teases while fidgeting with his cap. It has always amazed Jorge, how he can swap his normally, trademark serious expression to devilishly playful so easily "Jorge Lorenzo feeling sorry for my retirement. If someone had told me after our first meeting I would have called them crazy, but well, look at us"

"Remember that day?" Jorge can't help smirking, because his mind brings up the memory in question at lighting speed. He remembers it strangely vividly. He recalls perfectly he first time he saw Dani face to face, in a circuit. He remembers wondering how such a short guy could go that fast, but on top of all, he remembers how much the sight of Dani had confused his teenage self, who had never felt the urge to apply the adjective _cute_ to any other boy before. Until that day. There had been simply no other way to describe him.

And here he was, sixteen years later, and still able to provoke the pretty much similar reactions on Jorge's system. 

"How could I not?" The smile Dani's lips form is nearly ironic, but it withholds such fondness Jorge can't bring himself to stop the chuckle that emerges from his chest "Thought you were born with a permanent frown"

He can't argue with that. It was almost painfully embarrassing to remember it now, how cold and arrogant his fifteen years old self could be. Gladly, that part of himself was something he had proudly left behind. Okay, perhaps not fully. Maybe there was still a little surplus of it hidden in some corners of his personality, impulses that sometimes were remarkably difficult to conceal. It was simply part of his inner self, but at least he didn't let it rule him anymore.

Nonetheless, he snorts at Dani's playful words. He's still too smug to agree with it.

"I was focusing all the time, that's why" he excuses, even allowing himself to throw a cocky wink at the Repsol rider.

Dani simply rolls his eyes and Jorge realizes how good it feels to joke that easily with the older rider. How he has always longed, looked forward for their interactions to be this relaxed, even when he didn't even know it. But he won't lie now. It's utterly delightful.

For the first time that night, a comfortable silence installs between them. A moment of tranquillity where Jorge is allowed to stare at a stargazing Dani. It's clear that he's no longer that teenager that always seemed to find the way to get on his nerves, but right now, he resembles that youngster more than he had done all these past years.

"It's strange, you know" Dani speaks without breaking eye contact with the darkening sky.

"What is?" Jorge pushes after another pause in the conversation that apparently the Repsol rider doesn't intend to continue.

"All those years ago, it was a constant, a fact. We were sort of enemies, rivals..." He finally takes his gaze away from above, fixing it on Jorge, and of course, making his guts churn. Yeah, he hasn't changed much, the glint from those inquisitive, incredibly pretty brown eyes is still the same "And now, It's actually really hard to recall what was like to hate you"

Yeah, he had almost forgotten the sensation of not liking Dani, a feeling lost in the past, to the extreme of asking himself if it had even been real.

"Same here" he agrees, burying his hands in the pockets of his jeans, as well. Although he can't identify if the shivers that silently shook him are due to the breeze or to Dani's unwavering attention "But I don't think I ever hated you. It was just...strong competition, as you said, rivalry. Because, to be honest, I consired you the only guy that could keep up with me, that could match my level and even beat me"

There, he said it. He barely can bring himself to look at Dani after the confession. But a slightly surprised intake of breath finally draws his gaze back to the shorter rider.

"Wow, this keeps on getting more surreal. Is Jorge Lorenzo really acknowledging that I had talent? And that that talent was worth battling yours?" Dani's eyebrows rise questioning, an irresistibly playful shimmer settling again on his dark eyes. It's clear that he's enjoying this too much.

"Thirty one years old Jorge is acknowledging it" he chuckles, not even denying neither nuancing the affirmation. Seeing Dani this delighted is definitely worth it. "Fifteen years old Jorge acknowledged it as well, but was too proud to admit it"

If he doesn't say it now, maybe he will never have the opportunity, neither the courage to say it again. It feels like it's now or never.

He has been so caught up on his own thoughts that he nearly hasn't realized the way Dani is looking, rather staring, at him. His almost unblinking stare accompanied by a soft smile grazing his lips.

"What?" He finally finds himself in the need to ask. He takes his cap off and puts it back again on his head. It was becoming a nervous tick.

"N-nothing. It's just...you never cease to surprise me" Dani suddenly blurts, and to Jorge's increasing enjoyment, with an adorable shade of blush coating his cheeks. But the compliment doesn't fail to shook every nerve of Jorge's body, the urge to come closer and establish any kind of physical contact between them becoming more irrepressible with each passing second.

"I know" he mutters, throwing at him another wink. It might have affected him more than he lets on, but he's not going to waste the opportunity to tease Dani one more time.

"You cocky bastard" the older rider shots back, shaking his head and giving Jorge a impish shove that this time, the majorcan can't help taking advantage of. He swiftly grabs Dani's forearm before the other Spaniard can retrieve it, attracting the Honda rider towards him. His heart does a somersault when a surprised gasp leaves Dani's throat. He stills for a moment, every muscle on his body stiffening, fearing having gone too far. But the panic attack dissolves immediately the moment Dani envelopes his waist with his arms, returning the hug in a heartbeat.

Neither of them seems interested in breaking the silence for a third time. It's too comfortable, too intimate like this. Jorge circles the narrow shoulders with his own arms, every bit of skin tingling when Dani immerses his face on his neck, the steady puffs of warm breath tickling the surface of skin. The shorter rider feels specially delicate today, the urge to hold him tighter becoming overwhelming. And it feels fantastic. Knowing for sure that Dani doesn't hold a grudge against him for taking his seat, knowing that their relationship is still better than ever.

Images of their past issues plague his mind, like a footage. Every single scuffle that had lead them to this exact moment. It's probably the most meaningful hug he has received in ages.

When Dani snuggles a bit closer, his hand shots up automatically, cupping the back of his head, his thumb drawing smooth, circular patterns on his soft hair. That almost imperceptible search of comfort makes Jorge realize how hard this must be for Dani. He swallows thickly once again, what would he become if he stopped racing?

The simple thought impulses him to draw the older even closer. They really don't need words anymore, the last squeeze Dani gaves him shouts "thank you" as if he had said it out loud.

Jorge should be the one thanking him. For this. For everything.

He struggles to keep the upset groan inside when the shorter rider finally disentangles himself from his hold, the breeze seeming way colder than before.

"Let's save the rest for Valencia, okay? Don't forget that you owe me a dramatic farewell" despite the depressing words, Jorge can't hold back a husky chuckle, even when the brightness of Dani's laugh doesn't reach his eyes fully.

"Okay" he finally lets out, because yeah, he will make sure to enjoy to the maximum the races they still have left together.

"I should probably go back" Dani states absently after checking the time on his phone, the lightness of the screen almost disturbing.

"Yeah. Me too" he mutters under his breath.

Dani seems hesitant for a moment, as if he didn't know what was the correct way to act now. Jorge smiles to himself. He was going to miss him so much.

He has done it before his brain is able to stop him, his body acting on its own when the urge is too strong. He lunges forward and plants a delicate peck on Dani's forehead, his fingers smoothly pushing aside the Red Bull cap, so his lips can rest without problem on his skin.

"Good night, Dani" he finally whispers, slowly putting the dark blue cap in place.

It's the only thing that will help him get over those gorgeous eyes and the way the look up at him from under his unfairly long eyelashes. He's convinced that if he doesn't avert his gaze now, he never will.

Shivers shake his muscles as he walks. The noise of his soles against the ground the only confirmation of the fact that he's indeed walking. The way back to his own motorhome turns out to be frankly bittersweet. A rebellious, unexpectedly traitorous tear slides from the corner of his eye. He clears his burning throat. Yes, he feels much better than when he left, and way colder, but now with only one thought left in mind that overshadows any other feeling.

God, how fucking much he's going to miss him.


	2. I Always Hated Saying Good-Bye

The sky is grey in Valencia.

Dark grey.

And Jorge wonders when was the last time the weather matched his mood this accurately. He leans a bit closer to the narrow window of his motorhome, attentively staring at the drops that slide down the cold surface of the glass, resembling perfectly the teardrops he promised himself he wouldn’t spill, under no circumstance.

 _It’s here._ The day has arrived and despite what he initially thought when he found out, he doesn’t know what to do with himself, how should he deal with this uneasiness that nests on his ribcage and pressures his lungs.

 _He’s really leaving_. He is and the idea alone of going out on track in two days, of stepping on the asphalt on Tuesday morning knowing that he won’t be there, a few meters away from him or sheltered on his box, with his tiny frame covered by the Honda leathers, makes him sick. Partially because, to make everything even worse, he’ll be wearing them himself, he'll be occupaying his seat and once again, it makes him wonder if he will ever stop loathing himself for it. For taking Dani's bike. Dani's place.

After all they have gone through and the issues they managed to overcome, it sounds like a bad joke; the fact that it’s going to end like this.

Still, he fights his own brain, forcing it to push the remorses to the back of his head, lowering his eyelids for a moment, efficiently keeping reality out for a while. The sound of the raindrops hitting the surface of the window it’s still audible, though, but it lacks the calming effect it usually holds.

He lets a deep sigh out of his chest, a vain attempt of alleviating some tension. He’s awfully unprepared, not the slightlest bit ready to let him go, to say goodbye. But he promised. That night in Sachsenring, after finding out, he promised him he would leave the farewell for Valencia. And he could never forget that night neither break that oath. He wants them to part properly, as painful as it will be.

 

~*~

 

There's not a single year in which he doesn't want to smash his head against the nearest, hard, available surface at the prospect of the fucking gala. Is it really necessary? To put them through it after a tiring day of races? Is it really necessary to locate them under the spotlight on top of a stage where they all clearly look like a fish out of water?

Apparently, for Dorna, it is and the grimace doesn't take long to appear on his features. Unfortunately (or fortunately, he can't decide) this year his presence on the damned event is not even needed due to his disastrous end of season, yet the asistance to the cocktail party afterwards is nearly mandatory. Besides, he knows Dani will part on Monday and this might be the last chance of getting him alone. 

That's what takes him to stand there on the already familiar salon, clad in last year's suit, scanning his surroundings while he laughs, from time to time at one of the stray jokes his (former) team's members try to lift his mood with, while his hands fidget with a glass of champagne he hasn't even tasted yet.

It's surprisingly easy to find him, though, heading towards the balcony at the right of the wide salon, standing out among the suffocating atmosphere of hipocresy. He muses how easy and effortless it has always been for him to spot Dani, his short height and apparent inclination to go unnoticed have never worked on Jorge. The other spaniard still seemed to grab his attention no matter what.

Seeing him walking is enough for his limbs to hastily ignite into movement, making quick work of muttering an apology to those surrounding him, an excuse he doesn't even pay attention to. 

Outside it's actually not as cold as he expected, today's unforgiving rain apparently on hiatus, giving the already soaked floor a little break. He inhales deeply before taking the first few steps towards Dani. He has always loved the scent of damp soil that hangs in the air after a storm. And this time it's calming effect it's even more soothing than usual as he slides his hands on the pockets of his slacks. Trying to look as relaxed as he should feel, more nonchalant, not as wounded as he trully is. 

“I can’t believe we have actually witnessed your last race" he voices, smirking lightly at the little jump Dani's shoulders effectuate. It is quickly replaced by one of his soft smiles, those that manage to make Jorge's insides do a somersault every single time. Plus, the _suit_. Enough said. Now that he has settled his eyes on Dani, he's certain he won't be able to drift them away during what's left of the night.

“It’s kind of surreal, isn’t it?” Dani nods before leaving his own (curiously enough still completely full, as well) cup on rail of the balcony, where Jorge suspects it would remain until someone of the cleaning service finds it tomorrow. He's tempted to do the same, but it provides a good source of distraction to keep his fidgety hands busy “It will be okay, though. I have kind of accepted it already”

“Lucky you" he mumbles under his breath, nearly in a snort. _Because I haven't_. And right now he seriously doubts he will ever fully accept that Dani won't be there. It's insane and yet, a reality. An awfully nausiating reality.

“Come on, Lorenzo, you won’t even notice I'm not there" the other spaniard grins, allowing their gazes to lock for the first time that night. And Jorge lets himself drown one last time on those dark eyes he'll probably dream about for days. There's so many things wrong in that statement, though. Because he seriously believes there won't be a single spot of a circuit that won't remind him of Dani. Let alone Honda's box “You'll be too busy trying to figure out how your new bike works"

The not at all innocent joke gets to rip the first genuine smile off his lips, delighted to have Dani teasing him, even now. It successes at bringing down the uneasiness the sentence would have produced him if it had been anyone else. But for some reason, when accompanied by Dani's trusting look, the process of facing a new period of adaptation all over again doesn't look that terrifying anymore. 

“Any advice?” his right eyebrow rises up automatically, the playful inquiry shot without expecting an actual response. 

“Just one" Dani muses, nonetheless, turning his body position to look at Jorge directly as he leans on the railing. His expression has become visibly more earnest than it was a moment ago, and the intense gleam his dark irises have acquired effectively send tingles down his spine. Still, and as piercing and intimidating as his stare had always been, he wouldn't be able to look away “Don’t you dare doubting yourself ever again. Not like you did with the Ducati”

As if the words alone wouldn't have been enough to move him, Dani has the nerve to reach for his, until then, hidden hand, spreading heat all over him in record time and instantly making it warmer than it ever was inside his pocket. He tightens the contact immediatly, this time, getting rid of the glass of champagne he doesn't feel like drinking, at all. And he's suddenly rarely scared at the prospect of it being over, of letting Dani's hand go. 

“I'll do my best" he finally mutters, his voice tone horribly hoarse after fighting its way up his dry throat. Because not letting Dani down it's about to become a great incentive to give his maximum.

“I know you will and I'll be there to see it" Dani squeezes his hand lightly, provoking another wave of sparks inside Jorge's chest. _You'll be there, but not the way you have always been._  He notices it's the nth time that night that the word _always_ links with a thought dedicated to Dani, enhanced by how difficult it's to find a memory of his years in the championship that doesn't include the shorter rider, one way or another. It's not the first time he acknowledges how important the other rider it's for him, but it seems to be the first one he realizes how badly his absence it's going to affect him. How much it is already fucking him up. 

“Okay” he can only muster after a heavy, thick silence he suspects both are scared to break "Anything else?”

“Trust Honda, trust your new team and everything will be fine" he can feel Dani's cold fingers closing around his that little bit more after the encouragement, and as expected, his guts don't miss the opportunity to leap “And take care of Marc, will you? Sometimes the kid really needs someone to lean on. Especially if certain italian is involved"

Dani's captivating gaze finally averts Jorge's to fleetingly glance over an undefined spot of the salon, partially visible through the wide doors behind them, where he suspects the current world champion and his new teammate might be. He knows Dani's farewell will be hard to take in for the younger, too, given how close he and Dani seem to be. That last comment only proves the point farther. He unconciously nods at the information, somehow not surprised at all, Marc's soft spot for Valentino always more than evident for him to see. And suddenly, the comparison pops up on his brain, absolutely inevitable, truly making him wonder if those two will ever reach this point, this phase of attachement Dani and he seem to be going through. He wonders if they silently feel it already, the _our rivalry is so intense you have ended up being incredibly special to me_ that he knows so well, that it's so familiar to him now. The thought nearly curves his lips in a smile, because if his situation with Dani has teached him something, it's how quickly things (and feelings) can change. 

“Okay" he concedes, eventually smiling at the sight of Dani's pleased expression. He'll do his best to play the big brother role he supposes Marc sometimes needs when required. He owes Dani that much “I'm going to miss you like hell, you know that, right?”

He finally breathes it out after a long pause, gathering enough courage to search for the other spaniard's look once again. He's incapable of keeping it concealed any longer, his chest so stuffed with different pent up emotions he thinks it could burst any moment now. But the brief state of anxiety he has gone through because  of the confession it's definitely worth it, in the end, when he earns one of Dani's unique smiles, just for him. 

“I know" the apparently cocky reply couldn't have sounded more like the _I'll miss you too_ that his eyes sincerely convey, also alleviating some of Jorge's sensation of grief. However, there is a dangerously constricting, emotional knot tying at the bottom of his throat, threatening to strangle any attempt of communication. But he needs to spill it, needs him to know how grateful he is. For everything.

“Thank you for being the perfect rival" he presses out forcefully, the statement brutally honest, witnessing how Dani's previous smile morphs into something way more emotional and profound. Deeper. Whatever it is, it's tinting the older rider's eyes with a rosy tone that will for sure transfer to his own, as well, in a matter of seconds. He's able to see his Adam's apple bounce, gulping turning out to be an awfully complicated activity. 

“Jorge…” he's sure he will never, ever forget the sound of his name in that exact moment, in that exact tone. Ever. He's amazed, once again at Dani's ability to express so much that simply. That intimately. It's something so _...Dani_.

That's when he can't hold himself back anymore, attracting Dani's delicate frame towards himself to share the most heartfelt hug he has given in years. After a few seconds, he doesn't know who is clinging to the other harder. He buries his left hand on Dani's soft hair, the stroking motion coming automatically out of him. He doesn't know if he's able to hear it, but the rhythm of his heartbeat has increased enough for Dani to presumably hear it sharply, if he pays attention. 

Nonetheless, any other noise or background sound is left out of the bubble, distant and unimportant. The only stimuli his senses care about coming from what's buried under his arms. He makes an effort to memorize every single color, seansation, scent or shape of that moment, to remember it forever. 

"Hey, I promised you I would make this dramatic, didn’t I?” he manages to hoarsely articulate through a mirthless grin, refering to the conversation they had that night in the german circuit. How fast time has ran out. _And this is it._

“You did, Lorenzo" Dani agrees with a quick nod once he finally gets to disentangle them away from each other. Yet, one look at Dani's glassy eyes his enough to free that traitorous tear that had been carefully held back until now. He removes it as swiftly as possible, even though Dani's fond smile gives away it has been perfectly noticeable “You did"

And just like that, with one last tender squeeze to their (until then) joined hands, Dani leaves, but with a wonderfully hopeful _see you soon_ instead of the dreadful  _goodbye_ he had been fearing so much. 

Jorge exhales loudly once he's completely alone, leaning his head back, letting his still disturbingly moist gaze fix in the star-less sky. It will start raining again. Pretty soon. The smell of damp soil hanging in the air gives it away. He smiles weakly, blinking repeatedly, cause if has been as if during the whole weekend Valencia had been mourning Dani's departure. It might be the first time his mood his so in tune with a circuit. 

This is it.

Dani's leaving and he's not doing it alone. A part of himself leaves with him, he feels a little bit of Jorge bids farewell, as well. But the future holds some kind of hope it lacked before, now that they weren't those prideful, immature teenagers anymore.

It was never perfect, but he wouldn't change a thing. 

He _always_ hated saying goodbye. But this one isn't one of those. That wink Dani dedicates him in the distance is enough. It will _always_ be different between them, though. It has _always_ been. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this weekend was emotional to say the least. Seeing Dani race when I was little is one of my first MotoGP memories. I remember admiring him for being that incredibly fast despite his height. And I remember always wanting him to win. He has been there since then and it will be awfully strange, not seeing him lining up on the grid, or sitting on his box. But I think he leaves such positives things and values behind, not to mention the recognition of everyone. He should be proud. Either way, hope you liked this and thanks so much for stopping by if you did.
> 
> Gracias, Dani is all I can say, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so, so much to anyone who stopped by. I apologize for the lack of stories and updates these past weeks. I have a few ideas that need some development and I'll try to post them as soon as they are ready. 
> 
> Hope you are all having a great break! <3


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